For those of you who come to this site for local music news, I did have the pleasure of seeing Charlottesville-legends-in-the-making American Dumpster again tonight.
As predicted in the 9/25 posting here, some implosion has occurred. There have been some changes in the band's lineup since last month. Tonight's show offered a new bassist and new keyboardist. The bassist has played with Corey Harris and TR3 and is a force of nature. He does that cool bassist thing of hardly moving at all while changing the pattern of your heartbeat. Kind of Zen if you ask me.
The keyboardist had the musical gifts, but was missing that Dumpster moxie. Much of the Dumpster voodoo is centered on their unique and intense interaction with each other and the audience. If you're gonna' play with this band, you need to be down with that volatile and beautiful mojo. That said, I look forward to seeing what happens with the lineup in coming months.
You should, too. Turn off your television. Put down that issue of the New Yorker. Stop listening to that same old tired Paul Simon CD from the '80s and get your fanny out to hear some live music. American Dumpster is never the same twice. You never know what you'll get, and that is half the fun.
Tonight they were laid back on a rainy night in Richmond. I've seen them blowing the ceiling ot of Bogart's Back Room with their energy. Some of my buds have seen them verge on levitation at times, and at others almost splatter into an unrecognizable pile of random instrument fragments.
Moody, infectious, unpredictable, addictive. Now that's music.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Outed at American Dumpster show... and everywhere else
The day started off really mellow. I packed my very first lunch for my son. (He stood at my elbow piping up with encouraging comments like, "You're doing good work, mama.") My daughter and I spent three hours with my hair performance artist, Melissa. I had good soup for lunch... a mellow day all in all.
And then I was outed.
Over and over I was outed by different people on different things - the cumulative effect being a complete and total creepout on my part. I felt like everywhere I went I was recognized today. It was disconcerting.
Part of this is due to last night's airing of "Irreconcilable Differences" a PBS documentary on the proposed amendment to the VA Constitution. I had a small part in it, but managed not to look the fool. My congregation and others gave me all kinds of positive reinforcement, which was the highlight of the day.
I also saw people at various establishments and venues who recognized me from any number of events or connections. But that is just typical Richmond. Live here as long as I have, and that will happen to you on a daily basis, too.
But the killer was meeting the frontman for American Dumpster. We've met in passing several times, but tonight was the first time we have had a conversation. When he sat down beside me I thought, "Cool. I can't wait to ask him how Floyd Fandango was. Or we can talk about the contrast between the C-ville and Richmond music scenes. Or maybe I'll ask that burning question about the lyrics in..."
None of that happened. Within 90 seconds he said, "You're the reviewer."
"Um, no... I..."
"Five Bands in Two Nights?" (See my 9/25 posting)
"Yeah. How did you... uh...?"
"Hunh. I thought you were a dude. Weird. Check your comments. I sent you one a day or two ago."
"Oh! I... Er..." And with that the conversation was over. He went up to do his Dumpster voodoo and I sat there pondering the power of words and technology. It's some freaky stuff.
Just in case this is the beginning of a trend in my life now that I have put my Luddite ways behind me, let me just get a few things out there in the ether and see what happens...
1) I am counting the days until the Lucero concert at Alley Katz on Nov.15 and would be happy to shine the band's shoes or make them cookies.
2) A trip to Venice would not spoil me.
3) My congregation would REALLY like a $60,000 music program and just 5 philanthropists could make it happen.
So there you go. A few wishes out there. Feel free to send me yours.
And then I was outed.
Over and over I was outed by different people on different things - the cumulative effect being a complete and total creepout on my part. I felt like everywhere I went I was recognized today. It was disconcerting.
Part of this is due to last night's airing of "Irreconcilable Differences" a PBS documentary on the proposed amendment to the VA Constitution. I had a small part in it, but managed not to look the fool. My congregation and others gave me all kinds of positive reinforcement, which was the highlight of the day.
I also saw people at various establishments and venues who recognized me from any number of events or connections. But that is just typical Richmond. Live here as long as I have, and that will happen to you on a daily basis, too.
But the killer was meeting the frontman for American Dumpster. We've met in passing several times, but tonight was the first time we have had a conversation. When he sat down beside me I thought, "Cool. I can't wait to ask him how Floyd Fandango was. Or we can talk about the contrast between the C-ville and Richmond music scenes. Or maybe I'll ask that burning question about the lyrics in..."
None of that happened. Within 90 seconds he said, "You're the reviewer."
"Um, no... I..."
"Five Bands in Two Nights?" (See my 9/25 posting)
"Yeah. How did you... uh...?"
"Hunh. I thought you were a dude. Weird. Check your comments. I sent you one a day or two ago."
"Oh! I... Er..." And with that the conversation was over. He went up to do his Dumpster voodoo and I sat there pondering the power of words and technology. It's some freaky stuff.
Just in case this is the beginning of a trend in my life now that I have put my Luddite ways behind me, let me just get a few things out there in the ether and see what happens...
1) I am counting the days until the Lucero concert at Alley Katz on Nov.15 and would be happy to shine the band's shoes or make them cookies.
2) A trip to Venice would not spoil me.
3) My congregation would REALLY like a $60,000 music program and just 5 philanthropists could make it happen.
So there you go. A few wishes out there. Feel free to send me yours.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Adventure Circle - Guest Blogger
I invited a guest blogger to chronicle the latest outing of the Adventure Circle. Doug is a grown man with the spirit of a four year old imp, at least so his wife and my four year old imp say. Doug showed unbelievable enthusiasm and creativity in our "fun and games" activity and here's what he has to say about it all...
So, the Adventure Circle had a laid back, close-to-the-Church-in-the-park outing last weekend. Small but jovial group, taking advantage of the minutes before the outing to take a second (or first!) look at Gallery (our church's mammoth annual juried art show). Some enjoying the beauty of the art, others jealous because they don't have a creative bone in their bodies, and still others exhibiting a little of both...
Off to the park on a BEAUTIFUL fall day. The tone for the day was set by Seymour (a stuffed animal, but oozing inherent worth and dignity) who proved that he could jump and run just like the human giants. Seymour came to our world from that famous toy store called Moopsie...gotta check that place out.
Well if Seymour can be a real adult, we adults can be real kids! When it come to games, The Rev. and her Little Man (age 4) come up with endless variations on old themes, just to keep things fresh. Harder to do with old bones than with young ones! Some really lame singing that we won't go into here. Hide and seek brings out everyone's true colors . Some are just doing their best to hide (OK, Rev., the crouching down in the middle of the field wasn't really trying...).
Others are transported into the world of camouflaged Army Rangers hiding from the enemy troops...doing anything to disguise their whereabouts, looking under the bark for bugs for nutrition if they are stranded in their hiding place for days on end before they can be rescued...Oh... Seymour found me.
Oh well, back to reality. It was a nice escape...
Members of the group greet each other on Sunday, not to say what a wonderful time they had, but to admit quietly to each other that their muscles really hurt after all of that! Betcha Seymour was doing fine...
So, the Adventure Circle had a laid back, close-to-the-Church-in-the-park outing last weekend. Small but jovial group, taking advantage of the minutes before the outing to take a second (or first!) look at Gallery (our church's mammoth annual juried art show). Some enjoying the beauty of the art, others jealous because they don't have a creative bone in their bodies, and still others exhibiting a little of both...
Off to the park on a BEAUTIFUL fall day. The tone for the day was set by Seymour (a stuffed animal, but oozing inherent worth and dignity) who proved that he could jump and run just like the human giants. Seymour came to our world from that famous toy store called Moopsie...gotta check that place out.
Well if Seymour can be a real adult, we adults can be real kids! When it come to games, The Rev. and her Little Man (age 4) come up with endless variations on old themes, just to keep things fresh. Harder to do with old bones than with young ones! Some really lame singing that we won't go into here. Hide and seek brings out everyone's true colors . Some are just doing their best to hide (OK, Rev., the crouching down in the middle of the field wasn't really trying...).
Others are transported into the world of camouflaged Army Rangers hiding from the enemy troops...doing anything to disguise their whereabouts, looking under the bark for bugs for nutrition if they are stranded in their hiding place for days on end before they can be rescued...Oh... Seymour found me.
Oh well, back to reality. It was a nice escape...
Members of the group greet each other on Sunday, not to say what a wonderful time they had, but to admit quietly to each other that their muscles really hurt after all of that! Betcha Seymour was doing fine...
Another Better Way To Remember
Notes from the Exhibit Hall of the Annual National Funeral Directors' Convention, part 5
It was inevitable. You had to know that technology was going to eventually insert itself into American death rituals. It should be a surprise to no one. Right? Well, guess what? The techno-revolution is being vehemently resisted by many funeral directors, particularly those in ole' Virginny. I have no fear in writing that because this is a BLOG. Those in question don't even know what a BLOG is.
"Hey, Buford. Isn't a blog one of those arterial things that messes with the embalming process?"
"Naw, Winslow. A blog is that smell when there's too much water underground at the cemetery."
To all the techno-savvy funeral directors, Bufords, and Winslows out there, please accept my apologies. I don't mean you, but YOU know who I'm talking about. These guys just got a fax machine to send their handwritten obits to the newspaper. These are the guys who still only let women answer the phones or do the hair at the funeral home. Cutting edge to them is piping in some music on a... GASP!... CD during the visitation hours. And there are DOZENS of them in Virginia and thousands elsewhere. You know if a Luddite like yours truly is rolling her eyes at them, they gotta' be pathetic.
So Little Miss Luddite galavanted off to the National Funeral Directors' Convention looking for some twenty-first century innovations to bring back to the hinterlands. It would appear that the horizon line of innovation in the funeral industry is web remembrance companies. And, as with the other installments in this series, I think I found the most UU friendly of the bunch. There were 15 web-related exhibitors in the program. I found two favorites, but they are very different.
From the creator of monster.com is www.eons.com. This website caters to all things for the over 50 crowd. It's a hip site and has hip marketing. Not a hint of fogey as far as I could tell. One aspect of the site is the obit/memorial section. This appeared relatively easy to use and appealed to the low-tech in me. The obit/memorial area of the site has many purposes and is worth a browse to see if your high school nemesis is still alive, to check out the archives for your grandma's obit from 1983, or to find how obits are written if you have neither a paper nor a funeral director handy. (Personally, I strive never to be without one or the other.)
The company that really lit me up, though, was www.TimelessMemories.com. Now, you may go to the site and be wondering what on earth I'm talking about, so let me give you a little tutorial about the possibilities first. This company offers two options - a web memory repository and a tangible book (available in different styles and formats. ) The web part can include stories, memories, music, and photos. The books put the photos and some of the writings together. It sounds really simple, but the possibilities are very powerful.
First, this is very helpful for out-of-towners, those who missed the service, or people who find out much later about the death. The order of service, the eulogy, stories from friends, the obituary, and photos can all be posted.
Secondly, many sites do not offer the possibilities for input and creativity that Timeless Memories does. Be sure to check out the sample memorial they have, but bring your hankies. It was designed by the mother and sister of a young man who died this year, presumably by suicide. I teared up looking at it in the exhibit hall. It is very personal, much more so than other sites are willing to be. But, fear not, your entry is also password protected.
Finally, and most importantly, this company is relatively new and they are creative thinkers. When I approached their chief technology officer, Aaron Kelley, and asked him what kind of non-traditional elements could be added for Unitarian Universalists, he was not only open but enthusiastic. This company appears to be willing to investigate what we would be interested in, and designing things accordingly. In other words, less gulls and crosses at sunset, more Emerson quotes and multicultural influences.
As for the books TimelessMemories offer, they are lovely in person. Think Hollywood biography in their look. Very professional. See my previous post "A Better Way to Remember" for why on earth you would want a book.
It was inevitable. You had to know that technology was going to eventually insert itself into American death rituals. It should be a surprise to no one. Right? Well, guess what? The techno-revolution is being vehemently resisted by many funeral directors, particularly those in ole' Virginny. I have no fear in writing that because this is a BLOG. Those in question don't even know what a BLOG is.
"Hey, Buford. Isn't a blog one of those arterial things that messes with the embalming process?"
"Naw, Winslow. A blog is that smell when there's too much water underground at the cemetery."
To all the techno-savvy funeral directors, Bufords, and Winslows out there, please accept my apologies. I don't mean you, but YOU know who I'm talking about. These guys just got a fax machine to send their handwritten obits to the newspaper. These are the guys who still only let women answer the phones or do the hair at the funeral home. Cutting edge to them is piping in some music on a... GASP!... CD during the visitation hours. And there are DOZENS of them in Virginia and thousands elsewhere. You know if a Luddite like yours truly is rolling her eyes at them, they gotta' be pathetic.
So Little Miss Luddite galavanted off to the National Funeral Directors' Convention looking for some twenty-first century innovations to bring back to the hinterlands. It would appear that the horizon line of innovation in the funeral industry is web remembrance companies. And, as with the other installments in this series, I think I found the most UU friendly of the bunch. There were 15 web-related exhibitors in the program. I found two favorites, but they are very different.
From the creator of monster.com is www.eons.com. This website caters to all things for the over 50 crowd. It's a hip site and has hip marketing. Not a hint of fogey as far as I could tell. One aspect of the site is the obit/memorial section. This appeared relatively easy to use and appealed to the low-tech in me. The obit/memorial area of the site has many purposes and is worth a browse to see if your high school nemesis is still alive, to check out the archives for your grandma's obit from 1983, or to find how obits are written if you have neither a paper nor a funeral director handy. (Personally, I strive never to be without one or the other.)
The company that really lit me up, though, was www.TimelessMemories.com. Now, you may go to the site and be wondering what on earth I'm talking about, so let me give you a little tutorial about the possibilities first. This company offers two options - a web memory repository and a tangible book (available in different styles and formats. ) The web part can include stories, memories, music, and photos. The books put the photos and some of the writings together. It sounds really simple, but the possibilities are very powerful.
First, this is very helpful for out-of-towners, those who missed the service, or people who find out much later about the death. The order of service, the eulogy, stories from friends, the obituary, and photos can all be posted.
Secondly, many sites do not offer the possibilities for input and creativity that Timeless Memories does. Be sure to check out the sample memorial they have, but bring your hankies. It was designed by the mother and sister of a young man who died this year, presumably by suicide. I teared up looking at it in the exhibit hall. It is very personal, much more so than other sites are willing to be. But, fear not, your entry is also password protected.
Finally, and most importantly, this company is relatively new and they are creative thinkers. When I approached their chief technology officer, Aaron Kelley, and asked him what kind of non-traditional elements could be added for Unitarian Universalists, he was not only open but enthusiastic. This company appears to be willing to investigate what we would be interested in, and designing things accordingly. In other words, less gulls and crosses at sunset, more Emerson quotes and multicultural influences.
As for the books TimelessMemories offer, they are lovely in person. Think Hollywood biography in their look. Very professional. See my previous post "A Better Way to Remember" for why on earth you would want a book.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
A Better Way to Remember
Notes from the floor of the Annual National Funeral Directors' Convention part 4
She was really thrilled to meet me. In a relieved gasp she cried, “You get IT!” I think maybe some of the funeral directors were not getting IT. She had spent two days in a giant exhibit hall trying to explain IT to hundreds of people who don't get IT. She was right: I get IT. In fact I get it so much I incorporate IT into some of my presentations to funeral directors and... they still don't get IT.
The IT in question is scrapbooking for funerals. Lots of people don't get it. Funeral directors, families, other church members don't understand why anyone would want a scrapbook instead of a register book, or a scrapbook at all. They haven't seen her scrapbooks for one thing. Jacqueline Bokor and her company TheirLifeStory design, manufacture, and sell stunningly beautiful scrapbooks for funerals and memorial services. Here's a little crash course in why anyone would want one of these books.
Generally the family has three sources of contact with those offering their condolences.
1) There are cards and flowers which arrive for the service or at the home.
2) There are face-to-face visits which are supplemented by signing one's name in a register book at a visitation or at the service.
3) Then there are calls and emails.
In reverse order I'll give you the reasons I believe bereaved loved ones are better served by a scrapbook than by all of these.
Calls and emails are the easiest way for the comforter to offer their comfort and condolences, but they can be a real hassle to the bereaved. The phone rings off the hook. Who has time to check email with all the other necessary tasks after a death? Then, when they do get on the phone or on the email, the bereaved has two choices:
1) be authentic at the risk of not finishing sentences, suddenly crying, or not making sense; or 2) comfort the comforter by making the call as easy for the caller as possible. "We're OK. No, we don't need anything. Yes, we love you, too."
I don't know anyone who wants to inflict this choice intentionally on a grieving person. Calls and emails are good if brief and well-timed, but they are not enough.
Face-to-face visits are optimal for many reasons, but they have the drawback of impaired human memory in a time of crisis. If you have ever been through the death of someone close, you may know how nice it is to see people and hear their thoughtful words. It is also nearly impossible to remember at a later date what they said, or sometimes if they were even there. So one goes to a register which offers nothing but names, half of which you can't read or don't recall how they knew Mama in the first place.
Which brings us to cards and flowers. These are good because they last for awhile, are tangible, and can be referred to as many times as needed. As UUs, however, we often have trouble finding cards appropriate to our beliefs and many UUs feel flower tributes are wasteful. Enter the scrapbook.
The way Jacqueline's company does it is - people who would like to leave a special message for the family are given an envelope addressed to the family. Inside the envelope is an elegant piece of paper on which to write a memory of the deceased. There is also some cardboard to protect the paper from the voracious postal machines that eat mail. People are encouraged to take these home and think awhile before writing and sending back to the family.
In the following days and weeks, the envelopes start coming back at the same time as some of the more unpleasant mailings one gets after a death. Each day, memories and well wishes of friends and family start showing up at the door. These are then compiled and easily create a beautiful book. The result is more than a scrapbook. It becomes an archive of who someone was to those who loved them.
The grieving family can look at the words of their friends and loved ones when they are ready to. They will be able to absorb what others have to say more fully. They will also be able to feel whatever feelings come up from the sharing of these words in the privacy of their own home while looking through the book. And the book can be shared with those who couldn't come to the funeral, or in years to come with those who were too young to remember.
These scrapbooks are much nicer than any I've seen in catalogues, scrapbook stores, or craft shops. They were designed by professional artists and it shows. They are very classy and dignified with a nineteenth century beauty about them. You want to touch and to open these books. I have been doing scrapbooks with some of my families for years now, and Jacqueline's books are infinitely better.
Although you won't get the full effect, check them out at www.TheirLifeStory.com. And if you like them, send Jacqueline an email. She'll be glad to know someone else gets IT.
She was really thrilled to meet me. In a relieved gasp she cried, “You get IT!” I think maybe some of the funeral directors were not getting IT. She had spent two days in a giant exhibit hall trying to explain IT to hundreds of people who don't get IT. She was right: I get IT. In fact I get it so much I incorporate IT into some of my presentations to funeral directors and... they still don't get IT.
The IT in question is scrapbooking for funerals. Lots of people don't get it. Funeral directors, families, other church members don't understand why anyone would want a scrapbook instead of a register book, or a scrapbook at all. They haven't seen her scrapbooks for one thing. Jacqueline Bokor and her company TheirLifeStory design, manufacture, and sell stunningly beautiful scrapbooks for funerals and memorial services. Here's a little crash course in why anyone would want one of these books.
Generally the family has three sources of contact with those offering their condolences.
1) There are cards and flowers which arrive for the service or at the home.
2) There are face-to-face visits which are supplemented by signing one's name in a register book at a visitation or at the service.
3) Then there are calls and emails.
In reverse order I'll give you the reasons I believe bereaved loved ones are better served by a scrapbook than by all of these.
Calls and emails are the easiest way for the comforter to offer their comfort and condolences, but they can be a real hassle to the bereaved. The phone rings off the hook. Who has time to check email with all the other necessary tasks after a death? Then, when they do get on the phone or on the email, the bereaved has two choices:
1) be authentic at the risk of not finishing sentences, suddenly crying, or not making sense; or 2) comfort the comforter by making the call as easy for the caller as possible. "We're OK. No, we don't need anything. Yes, we love you, too."
I don't know anyone who wants to inflict this choice intentionally on a grieving person. Calls and emails are good if brief and well-timed, but they are not enough.
Face-to-face visits are optimal for many reasons, but they have the drawback of impaired human memory in a time of crisis. If you have ever been through the death of someone close, you may know how nice it is to see people and hear their thoughtful words. It is also nearly impossible to remember at a later date what they said, or sometimes if they were even there. So one goes to a register which offers nothing but names, half of which you can't read or don't recall how they knew Mama in the first place.
Which brings us to cards and flowers. These are good because they last for awhile, are tangible, and can be referred to as many times as needed. As UUs, however, we often have trouble finding cards appropriate to our beliefs and many UUs feel flower tributes are wasteful. Enter the scrapbook.
The way Jacqueline's company does it is - people who would like to leave a special message for the family are given an envelope addressed to the family. Inside the envelope is an elegant piece of paper on which to write a memory of the deceased. There is also some cardboard to protect the paper from the voracious postal machines that eat mail. People are encouraged to take these home and think awhile before writing and sending back to the family.
In the following days and weeks, the envelopes start coming back at the same time as some of the more unpleasant mailings one gets after a death. Each day, memories and well wishes of friends and family start showing up at the door. These are then compiled and easily create a beautiful book. The result is more than a scrapbook. It becomes an archive of who someone was to those who loved them.
The grieving family can look at the words of their friends and loved ones when they are ready to. They will be able to absorb what others have to say more fully. They will also be able to feel whatever feelings come up from the sharing of these words in the privacy of their own home while looking through the book. And the book can be shared with those who couldn't come to the funeral, or in years to come with those who were too young to remember.
These scrapbooks are much nicer than any I've seen in catalogues, scrapbook stores, or craft shops. They were designed by professional artists and it shows. They are very classy and dignified with a nineteenth century beauty about them. You want to touch and to open these books. I have been doing scrapbooks with some of my families for years now, and Jacqueline's books are infinitely better.
Although you won't get the full effect, check them out at www.TheirLifeStory.com. And if you like them, send Jacqueline an email. She'll be glad to know someone else gets IT.
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