Thursday, July 05, 2007

Time Changes Everything. Yay.

I have been so swamped with summer activities that I have had no time to blog and unlimited, wonderful, mind-blowing experiences to blog about. Somehow it doesn't seem fair to the world that the best experiences in life are to be savored, treasured, and forever out of reach of the snare of language. Meanwhile, words abound with sniping, grumbling, and fussing. Here is my one feeble attempt to balance that unkind tilt just a little.
Profound but untranslateable event #1 - The Silvermans' yard sale
My family has known the Silverman family for 30 years since they moved to Richmond. Last month they left Virginia and went back to their homeland, New York City. They had a big yard sale. My son came dressed as a magician. We bought too much. I cried because I love them and will miss them. (My first time crying at a yard sale.) They passed around a picture of us from their first Virginia days. I'm the very '70s looking girl in the middle.
I was deeply moved by the whole experience. In one small sense we lost friends we love. In another sense they are amazing risk-takers. The following photos are views from their Virginia home and from their NYC home. How does a person move from one to the other at any age over 25? How did 30 years go by so quickly? And how is it that you can go months not seeing someone but just get comfort knowing they are a short drive away?

Profound and lovely event #2 - Spending time with my cousins as adults

I mentioned that I saw my cousins while in Portland. It has been at least 15 years since I had seen them, and longer since I really had time to be with them and talk. It was so great to realize that I could meet these women and their families on the street and that I would like them as strangers as much as I do as family. It was also really helpful to talk to my women family about the joys and agonies of raising our own families.

Amazing event avoiding all attempts at re-telling #3 - My high school reunion

I should not even try to capture this one in words. Last weekend was my high school reunion. Of those who attended, I had only seen two of them in 20 years. It was like meeting a whole room of adults who've been secretly picked to be compatible with you. They are all different. I found all of them to have aged beautifully both inside and out. I can't wait to keep in touch with them. And those of us who attended the Sunday service had an exchange afterwards that went deeper than I've ever gone with a group of adults before. Words cannot capture it, but I see the arc of life very differently now, and I'm a whole lot happier with aging and maturity.

One of my best friends who could not be there thinks I've gone off my rocker and that we all drank some kind of kool-aid. It was iced tea, Amber, and our classmate Ari made it so if there was doctoring, he was the master physician. Two caveats: I was not completely looking forward to the reunion beforehand feeling I'd gotten too... I don't even know what... in twenty years, so this was a wonderful surprise. AND: I graduated in a class of 56 so there were no strangers.

Immeasurable and Immutable #4 - Watching my cildren play together

After two years, it is finally happening. My kids are hanging out together and enjoying each other's company more than they enjoy mine sometimes. They chase each other. They roll like puppies. They laugh at jokes I don't get. They are building their own private relationship that is unattached to me or my husband. It is frightening, but also natural and beautiful.

Are you seeing a theme here? Maybe it's the death and danger of the past few months. Maybe it's the big milestones. Or maybe I'm just starting to see the breadth of the mysteries of time and love. Whatever it is, bring it on. But don't expect me to be able to blog about it regularly.