Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Tears Make Big Pharmaceutical Rich

Pharmaceutical companies aren't the devil. Maybe they've just sniffed too many non-FDA approved powders.

If they did, I would say that sometimes these wild card drugs make them brilliant.

Evidence A: They realized that saying "Call a doctor if you have an erection that lasts more than four hours" sold a LOT more erection drugs than images of middle-aged couples ballroom dancing.

Other times they should have passed on the magic happy powder.

Evidence B: I live with chronic illness. I hate it. I do not think that if I could turn back time I would keep the disease. I would ditch it in a hot second and become a bikini model. I hate my meds. I hate the side effects. I hate going to the doctor frequently. I hate falling down. I hate being in pain. I hate waking up in the middle of the night crying from anxiety about disease progression because now that my eyes are involved, tears hurt.

And I hate you, pharmaceutical company who makes the expensive eye meds I now need. Your frequent buyer program that tries to make me feel better about the gobs of money I have to spend on yet another medicine that has yet another set of side effects by giving me some of my money back in a form that can only be used to buy more of your meds? I hate it. It makes me angry and it makes me write run-on sentences.

I have no doubt the medicine will work and I will feel better and then join your rewards program and try to make jokes about being a card-carrying-member of the art museum, the botanical gardens, the ACLU, and an eye drop fan club.

But the evidence for me that someone in marketing has been sniffing around the experimental lab is that you call your despised progam for your product I take reluctantly "My Tears, My Rewards."

Insensitive, asinine, and kind of cruel, you big, rich meanies who make stuff I need.


ms. kitty said...

I'm sorry, A.C., that life is so physically painful. I hope it has other joys and hope.

Guy Wonders said...

It's good to see you back on the blogging machine. Thanks for stopping by!