I. At Lunch
Me: As an atheist, you...
Lunch Guest: I am NOT an atheist.
Me: Well, you used to be an atheist. You gave me all those great atheist articles over the years.
Lunch Guest: Yes... I used to be an atheist, but... I... well...
My Husband: But then you found doubt! My brother, welcome!
II. At Breakfast
Daughter: I like your shiny basketball pants, Mama.
Me: Thank you, sweetie.
Daughter: I want a pair of shiny basketball pants. Will you buy me some?
Me: Hmmmm... I don't know. What am I going to use for money?
Daughter: You could use those coins with the chocolate in them we had at Hanukkah.
III. At Supper
Friend: So how is it going talking to church members about your departure?
Me: They have been mostly understanding. We talk about the changes in the congregation over the past five years...
Me: ...how I see my call as more of a community ministry...
Son: Psst... Mama...
Me: ... elements of polity and the calling of the next...
Son: You can't do that. That's fibbing. You can't tell lies. Just tell them the truth. You are leaving to hang out with me and my sister and dada.
IV. A Monologue
Daughter to new dog as she rubs his ears and looks into his face: You are a good doggie. What a pretty doggie you are. You are a cute doggie. I love you. You are so cute. And when you die we are going to get another pretty doggie who is as cute as you are. Good boy!