Did you get a look at the bodyguard for the Australian Prime Minister today? I want to be that guy.
The Australian PM, Julia Gillard, was surrounded by an angry group of aboriginal protesters and security decided that it would be best for her to leave quickly. As a part-time protester, I can't help but wonder about the history of poor communication there, but that's a subject for another day.
So off the PM goes with the riot police and the bodyguards.
She trips because she is wearing stupid shoes. Possibly wedges. One of which she lost. Women in power should never wear stupid shoes nor lose them. I do not want to be this woman.
Video footage shows another woman, a protester, chasing after the PM's car in a flowing dress and barefoot. That's more like it, but again... another day.
One of PM Gillard's bodyguards, who looks like a former footballer turned pub owner who works out daily and eats plenty of lentils, tucks her under his arm and gets her into the vehicle to drive away.
The look on his face says, "I wonder what we'll have for supper tonight. I'd like to finish that article on Hungarian military history, too."
Cool as a cucumber.
Nothing in his face shows what a simple Google search reveals.
1) He's not THAT well paid and there are political mumblings to cut his salary more.
2) Gillard has sent the bodyguards on errands of international security much to the dismay of the other countries involved.
AND 3) the day of celebration on which all this happened is called Australia Day or Invasion Day depending on if you believe that Australia did not exist until Europeans laid eyes upon it or not.
The videos of this scramble to the car are loud with police and protesters yelling. The bodyguard is silent.
Everyone appears to be awkward, stumbling and in a frenzy. The bodyguard is calm and sure-footed.
The faces of everyone around him show fear, anger, agression, surprise. The bodyguard has the determined look of a man who has some exceptional sushi waiting for him at the end of his day if he can just get through the next ten minutes.
My days are roller coasters. Too much change. Too much uncertainty. Worrying about the kids. Fretting about the country. And what does it get me? The loss of the wedge of my emotional stability.
Today I become the Australian bodyguard. At some point today I am gonna' have me some sushi. Perhaps a nice bowl of pho or maybe even oysters.
I will walk calmly through the firebombs life throws at me. I will pick up whomever is stumbling beside me and set them back on their feet without breaking stride. With both shoes on I will put one foot in front of the other, go to the gym, and at the end of the day catch up on a little reading.
I am impervious. I look great in a suit. My shoes fit perfectly. I am an Australian bodyguard. I can taste the sushi already.